I’m pregnant, I think!
We had a lady and her husband come into the ED one day wanting an OB ultrasound done. Lady states she had total hysterectomy and removal of both ovaries 3 years ago, but knows you can have “stomach...
View ArticleCongratulations!
EMS had brought in a cardiac arrest patient who was pronounced dead shortly after arriving in the ED. The Senior Medic had gone to the waiting area to get more patient info. As he was attempting to...
View ArticleThe Patch
During a patient‘s two week follow-up appointment, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. “Which one? ” I asked. “The patch. The nurse told me to put on a...
View ArticleCleaning the Attic
A 40 year old guy comes to my triage window with a broken arm after falling in his attic. He was doing some cleaning at his place when this happened. I felt bad for him until he asked, “I was wondering...
View ArticleIf He Has Brain Cancer, She Needs a Lobotomy
I had a patient once in the ER at 3am that had a bump behind his ear (since birth). His girlfriend was convinced it was a brain tumor…
View ArticleSteam Pressed
We had a 15-year-old patient come in with second degree burns on his chest. After inspection, the burns were in a very distinct pattern. It turns out the patient had a wrinkled shirt and had tried to...
View ArticleAn Expensive Ambulance Ride
Called to the home of a man who had stomach pains. Upon arrival, he told us, “I went to the ER, but they told me I was going to wait two hours in the waiting room. I didn’t want to wait so I drove back...
View ArticleThe Great Prostate Debate
A female patient came in with the complaint of trouble urinating, and that was only the beginning. After doing her own “research” online at home, she was convinced she had, wait for it, prostate...
View ArticleYou’re on Crack
A 30-something female came in with her boyfriend and said she had accidentally swallowed her crack pipe. While we didn’t know if this was true or not, her main complaint was she said she could feel...
View ArticleNo Room to Park
Male patient was brought in by ambulance with an injured left knee he suffered from playing a sport. He was able to ambulate with minor difficulty and had little to no swelling. Patient stated his...
View Article“Frequent Flyer” Patient
A “frequent flyer” patient calls an ambulance and comes to the ER. She states, “I have a doctor’s appointment at 3pm but felt I couldn’t wait until then to be seen.” When I walk in to do her EKG she is...
View ArticleMoving? Call 911
We got a call, 3am Saturday morning for W/D. Upon arrival, we see the woman standing in the hallway outside her room holding 2 huge suitcases and a large purse. She seemed to be struggling so we rushed...
View ArticleBurning Up
A parent called our Peds ER to say that her child had a temperature of 325. When asked how she knew that she said that her oven was set on 325 and the child felt as hot as the oven.
View ArticleOh that? That’s not Mine!
Patient came in and during triage I ask if he drinks, smokes, or partakes in recreational drugs. He answered no to all the questions. We were going to move him to the next room and as he stood, a tiny...
View ArticlePregnant? Couldn’t be that…
Twenty-something female complaining of nausea/vomiting for three weeks and says she has noticed slight weight gain. Now feeling dizzy. Also says her breasts are swollen and nipples are tender. I ask,...
View ArticleResults May Vary
Saw a young lady who felt funny after taking some diet pills (some mix of gaurana and caffeine) – it said take one pill, twice a day. She took two in the morning, followed by a third at 10am. She...
View ArticleFrom the ER to the Ward
Female, 16-years-old to triage, c/o 19-weeks pregnant, no fetal HB. We put her in a wheelchair straight to L&D. Shortly after, we get a call from L&D, no fetal HB because patient is not...
View ArticleWhat happened to my toe?
PCSO (a type of British auxiliary police officer) calls over ambulance, presents c/o pain in foot, insists on examination. Turns out he had stubbed his toe on the door that morning. He left with...
View ArticleNeed a Lift?
Had a patient who came in with a complaint of extreme headache and loss of consciousness. On arrival (by ambulance) to the ER, he said he was fine and had made it all up. He just needed a ride to the...
View ArticlePacked in Tight
61-year-old female presents to the ED with severe rectal bleeding. She evidently decided that the inability to poop for 24 hours deemed her “constipated.” Instead of purchasing over the counter fiber...
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